Hollywood Scream Play by Brown Josie

Author:Brown, Josie [Brown, Josie]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Signal Press
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 9

Reality Bites

“Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.”

—Janeane Garofalo, as “Vickie”

Is that really her—you know, your favorite actress? Oh my God—yes! Since it’s just the two of you in the ladies’ room, she’s now your captive audience. Your goal: to be just as captivating to her as you find her onscreen. With that in mind, here are a couple of things you never say to a celebrity when you see them for the very first time:

Wrong Sentence #1: “Hmmm. For some reason, you look much younger onscreen.” Yeah, duh, that’s because she has an army of hair and make-up people who work on her for hours fussing and gussying every inch of her face, body and hair. She doesn’t need a perfect stranger to remind her that she’s less than perfect.

Wrong Sentence #2: “Hmmm. For some reason, you look a lot thinner onscreen.” You would, too, if you wore three sets of Spanx under every outfit, and the few extra pounds on your thighs were removed, thanks to digital movie magic.

Sadly, in real life, what you see is what you get.

You know this, just by looking in the mirror.

I guess that’s why you’d shoot anyone who has the nerve to say these sentences to you, too.

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